It's On, B*tch: A BBT Picpsam!

[infinitejest]

Another picspam for a challenge hosted by Big Bang Land! This one features five of my favorite conversations from Season 1 of The Big Bang Theory.

I found my caps at Caps by Emma-Jane and Screencaps.org.

Enjoy!

01
"...Abraham Lincoln will be speaking Hindi and drinking mint juleps."
The Hamburger Postulate.



Sheldon: Alright, I’m moving my infantry division, augmented by a battalion of Orcs from Lord of the Rings, we flank the Tennessee Volunteers, and the North once again wins the Battle of Gettysburg.
Howard: Not so fast, remember the South still has two infantry divisions, plus Superman and Godzilla.
Leonard: No, no, no, no, Orcs are magic, Superman is vulnerable to magic, not to mention, you already lost Godzilla to the Illinois Cavalry and Hulk.
Raj: Why don’t you just have Robert E. Lee charge the line with Shiva and Ganesh.
Penny: Hi, you guys ready to order?
Howard: Hang on, honey. Shiva and Ganesh? The Hindu Gods against the entire Union army?
Leonard: And Orcs!
Penny: I’ll be back.
Raj: Excuse me, Ganesh is the remover of obstacles, and Shiva is the destroyer. When the smoke clears, Abraham Lincoln will be speaking Hindi and drinking mint juleps.

02
"...but he's obviously the Doppler Effect."
The Middle Earth Paradigm.



Raj: Hey. Sorry I’m late, but my hammer got stuck in the door on the bus.
Leonard: You went with Thor?
Raj: What? Just because I’m Indian I can’t be a Norse God? No, no, no, Raj has to be an Indian God. That’s racism. I mean, look at Wolowitz, he’s not English, but he’s dressed like Peter Pan. Sheldon is neither sound nor light, but he’s obviously the Doppler Effect.
Howard: I’m not Peter Pan, I’m Robin Hood.
Raj: Really, because I saw Peter Pan, and you’re dressed exactly like Cathy Rigby. She was a little bigger than you, but it’s basically the same look, man.

03
"Forgive me your highness, for I am but a monkey..."
The Grasshopper Experiment.



Raj: Hey guys. This is Lalita Gupta, Lalita this is Leonard and Sheldon and Howard and Penny. Isn’t it great, she isn’t fat any more!
Sheldon: Forgive me your highness, for I am but a monkey, and it is in my nature to climb. I did not mean to gaze upon you as you comb your hair.
Lalita: I’m sorry?
Sheldon: You are the living embodiment of the beautiful Princess Punchali.
Lalita: Oh, no kidding? Oh, who is that?
Sheldon: A beloved character from an Indian folk tale.
Lalita: Oh. Us Indian, or “come to our casino” Indian?
Sheldon: You Indian.
Lalita: Oh.
Sheldon: The resemblance is remarkable. I can practically smell the lotus blossoms woven into your ebony hair.
Lalita: Thanks. I imagine you smell very nice too.
Sheldon: I shower twice a day and wash my hands as often as I can.
Lalita: Really, so do I.
Raj: But you’re a dentist, he’s nuts.
Lalita: Don’t be insulting Rajesh. So, Sheldon, tell me more about this princess you say I look like.
Sheldon: It was said that the Gods fashioned her eyes out of the stars, and that roses were ashamed to bloom in the presence of her ruby lips.
Lalita: Oh my.

04
"It's on, bitch."
The Bat Jar Conjecture.



Leonard: No, I meant…. never mind. Hey, check it out. I got you a Batman cookie jar!
Sheldon: Oh neat, what’s the occasion?
Leonard: Well, you’re a friend, and you like Batman, and cookies, and you’re off the team.
Sheldon: What?
Leonard: Howard, Raj and I just had a team meeting.
Sheldon: No you didn’t.
Leonard: Yes we did, I just came from it.
Sheldon: Okay, I don’t know where you just came from, but it couldn’t have been a team meeting because I’m on the team and I wasn’t there, ergo the team did not meet.
Leonard: Okay, let me try it this way, uh, I was at a coffee klatch with a couple of friends and one thing led to another and it turns out you’re off the team.
Sheldon: Why?
Leonard: Because you’re taking all the fun out of it.
Sheldon: Well, I’m sorry, is the winner of the physics bowl the team that has the most fun?
Leonard: Okay, let me try it this way, you’re annoying and no-one wants to play with you any more.
Sheldon: I see. Well. At this point I should inform you that I intend to form my own team and destroy the molecular bonds that bind your very matter together, and reduce the resulting particulate chaos to tears.
Leonard: Thanks for the heads up.
Sheldon: You’re welcome. One more thing.
Leonard: Yes.
Sheldon: It’s on, bitch.

05
"This is not a tangerine bicycle."
The Tangerine Factor.



Sheldon, in Mandarin: Show me your mucus! Your mucus!
Owner, in Mandarin: Blow your own nose and go away.
Sheldon, in Mandarin: This is not a tangerine bicycle.
Owner, in English: Crazy man. Call the police.
Sheldon, in Mandarin: No. Don’t call the library. Show me your mucus. Oxen are in my bed! Many, many oxen! Oy Vey!